


This Is How I Show My Love

by agirlnamedtruth



Category: Mojo - All Media Types, Mojo - Butterworth
Genre: Implied/Referenced Character Death, Insanity, M/M, Non-Consensual Touching, Past Violence, Rape/Non-con Elements, Spoilers, Unreliable Narrator, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-15
Updated: 2013-12-15
Packaged: 2018-01-04 17:50:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1083929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agirlnamedtruth/pseuds/agirlnamedtruth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is how I show my love, I made it in my mind because I blame it on my a.d.d, baby.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is How I Show My Love

**Author's Note:**

> Baby p.o.v, obviously. All grammatical errors are intentional. Title, summary and the whole mindset taken from [Sail](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPtSKimbjOU) by AWOLNATION.

The light bounced off the silver in the silver trousers, like it did the sequins. Shimmering. Flashing. Thoughts came to him in flashes. In great clatters. Loud bangs. The smell of powder. The burn of it. Ringing.

It had only been an hour ago. Two. He'd left, taking the boy with him, leading him out of the chaos and following him in the hope of quiet. It had been too loud, too much shouting. Skinny had shouted too loudly.

This one wasn't like Skinny. He wasn't like Luke. He didn't shout. He didn't tell him to fuck off. He didn't cheat and change the rules and refuse to play properly. When he told him he loved him, he looked at him with big eyes, swallowing and nodding. Giving him what he wanted. What he needed. It was easy, see. It was so easy, even Skinny could have done it. He could have said _yes, I love him_. He could have kissed his pegs. He could have stopped fighting it. Tooth and nail, spitting and screaming and refusing. So easy, it could have been.

He'd told him enough times, hadn't he? He'd done the hard bit for him. If something is said enough times, _you believe it_ , that's how it works. That's how it always worked. _You said it enough and it was true._ And it was true. It was ok. It was easy. He showed him. He’d listened to whispers and found a way to set an example, he’d bought the trousers while Skinny saved up, told him what it meant that they wore the same style, walked the same way. He told everyone what it meant. He told _him_ what it meant. He’d showed him. Touched him in ways nobody else would. And he scrabbled so hard trying to get touched. Nobody else would do it for him, only he would. And all he did was _shout_ , shout about it to Mickey. Accusing him of _hurting_ him. If he’d wanted to hurt him, it would have been easier, he would have done it. Skinny would have seen the difference. He’d have made sure of it.

But he refused to see. He refused. Every denial made him adamant to make him see it, make him say it, make him return it, make him kiss... But he wouldn't do it. Desperation made him bold, the pills made him brazen. The cheating made him see all shades of red. That he would lie, lie to _him_. More and more lies. More and more shouting. Even the cutlass couldn’t stop the shouting. Even pressing up against him, pushing like lovers do, wouldn’t stop the shouting. Pulling his head back, shouting back, trying to make him _feel_ it. It got harder when it should have been easy. He’d tied him to stop him fighting. He still fought. He’d got tired of fighting. This one didn’t fight. This one just nodded.

And soon, he’d shouted too loud. Turning everything backwards, back on him. Lying and shouting and spitting and screaming and refusing to say he loved him. All the words folded, like a fucked hand of cards. He didn’t play by the rules, he cheated and _he’d_ said _sorry_. And he’d _cheated_.

Shouting, a mess of words that was all _wrong_ , it was so hard to hear. It was easier to stop it all. Pull the trigger. Turn the words to ringing. It was easy. And it was quiet.

This one was easy. This one was quiet. This one loved him.

**Author's Note:**

> As of 01/01/18, I'm opting to disable comments. [More information here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13077201).


End file.
